In the rustling of the leaves;
that distinct sound as it rushes between branches.
You come to me when
The Sun shines at my face;
eyes closed, cheeks warm.
You are in all I am.
To love you,
Is my greatest delight.
How could I exist,
if not without you?
Love of my life.
Extraño el roce de nuestros pies debajo de las sábanas,
como un ancla -
por más que vengan las olas,
aquí me quedo contigo.
El poder extender mi brazo, sentir el roce de tu piel-
una activación de sensores,
un respiro a mis poros.
Que interesante tenerte lejos,
y sentirme ausente sin ti.
*Escrito en Honduras - 19 de octubre 2015
nor complex words,
to help describe it.
Today is different.
Birthdays come and go.
I've never been a true fan of my own;
but, today is different.
A day like today you arrived:
I saw your little, round nose;
I heard your deep-voiced baby cry;
I felt your tiny, chubby fingers;
and I fell in love with you.
You broke me and rebuilt me.
You made us better people.
You made us a more united family.
You have even done the impossible:
made me love your mother even more.
In such little time, Jorge Eduardo, you've done so much.
Happy Birthday Gordito.
I adore you.
My thoughts are on the road and I drift off.
Yet, sometimes, when you're asleep or barely awake that,
You bring me back, focus on you, I smile, and thank God I'm with you.
All you do is just reach over and put your hand in my pocket.
It is that tiny moment of interaction that links me to you.
It is that touch that shows me how much I love you.
Te Love You Forever
I can still feel my heart pounding
I stared at you
my nervous smile
tears built up at the corner of your eyes
your endless ecstatic smile
my breathing stopped
you stared at me back
"Of course I will"
How you'd always ask how could I be so sure?
Remember when I asked you to marry me?
Remember when you said yes?
It can be an angry tenant -
...my heart needs not to grow fonder...
Do I really need more proof?
I have, by far, lost myself the most these days.
I, somehow, have gone from being whole to partitioned.
A minor imprint,
The craving for your presence blindsides me, catches me, and leaves me breathless. I miss you by my side; brushing against you unintentionally, catching a whiff of your curls, or stealing a quick glance.
You know how phrases and words can cause a quick memory? A swift flashback of each other? It’s as if every verse I hear or read holds a new meaning now; everything somehow related to you.
I have taken what we had and thrown out into the world of millions. I am but one more out of millions announcing their love to the world.
I love you Lety. I love you so much I sit here perplexed trying to figure out which words to write to express how I feel, but I can't let it but come out of my pores. My fingers could never conceive how I feel to write such things. What I know and feel is indescribable, inexpressible, and just plain beautiful.
I took a deep breath and lifted my gaze off the floor.
I had never felt more lonely. I felt a restraint on my heart.
No matter what, I hurt inside.
I was the embodiment of pain.
I was all manly about it, fought back the tears and just grunted at everyone's inquiry.
But the truth is I felt as if my heart were sucking me inward, a black hole had appeared in the center of my chest and all of me was being sucked inward. It was so strong. It was so constant.
I hated that constant desire to cry. I couldn't shake it off. I couldn't escape it.
And the worse thing is I knew I had caused it, it was my fault.
It's that darkness contrasted by the white of your eyes.
It's the love and happiness I see in them.
It's the future I glimpse.
I always smile when I look into your eyes.
You'll always ask why I smile.
I'll always say, "Because I love you."
it all looks exactly like it always did.
Pictures and presents hanging around my room.
An old movie stub from a movie we saw together on the desk.
Sometimes I think I can smell your perfume when I am driving alone.
I hate driving to places alone, I miss you next to me.
Sometimes I scan the crowd I'm in and see all the couples.
Empty chairs are my ideal partner these days.
So many people complain about losing their privacy. I don't have to think about things like that anymore.
This is mine and no one else's. Not even your eyes glance it. I always wrote it for you, even in the beginnings when sorrow and pain seethed out of my fingers, it was always for you.
Now, who knows if you'll ever read it. I'm hopeful, I guess. One day I might open up and let it out. Right now this diary is mine, right now I have privacy.
Self-pity and hatred have been part of me for so long that I no longer notice their existence.
It seems odd that someone so filled with self-anger would be so selfish.
Am I that selfish?
I have hated myself for so many years without paying that much attention to who I was.
I'm tired of being so angry at myself.
I hate to give up.
I will change.
Yet, sometimes you do things and you don't really think about it. It's like you were partially blindfolded. You have no idea what's going on behind the blinds, but you think you're on the right path.
Where does this leave me? Who have I become? Am I still the same person? Am I really making the same stupid mistakes all over again? Did I calculate this? Or was I partially blindfolded?
I actually don't know anything anymore. I walk aimlessly and I fear the next step.
Two years of pain, suffering, frustration, distance, disappointments, happiness, joy, laughter, jealousy, and love.
Two whole years I've tried to put it all down in writing. For two years a lot of people have read these lines and somehow found hope, happiness, sadness, or fear. I was categorized. I was labeled. "hopeless romantic" and the occasional "the guy who I wish was writing about me."
Nevertheless, I am not what these words show. I am not who I mostly say I am. I am different than the words explain. I am less than you think. I may be even worse than what you have yourself. I have little to offer sometimes. Words don't really solve it all.
I had, and still have, love to give. Unconditional. Relentless. Ever-powerful.
I break your thoughts. I break your hopes. Maybe we are all the same. Maybe love isn't enough. Maybe hope is for the idealistic. Maybe ... well, just maybe not. Who knows. I hope you all find something somehow. I just think it's too much to make people expect me to write something. I will be around, I will write. Just you see.
I don't want to say it is a goodbye. I don't want to say I will not write here again. Maybe you were expecting more details of this relationship; this "unborn relationship" as she always called it. I apologize.
I sit here empty and silent. My fingers type without caring or knowing the previous lines. This is coming out as it appears in my head. No thoughts. No more.
I hope to write again. I truly do. Nevertheless, I bid farewell for now.
te amaré siempre
aunque no escriba aquí
365 days, 21900 mins, 1314000 seconds of love, cariño, comprensión, arguments, misunderstandings, reconciliation, besos, hugs, phone calls, noticas, poetry. Thank God 4 it.
Thank you God.
Te amo mi amor.
Aunque ... eso ya lo hago. ¿Cómo demostrarte que el amor que siento por ti es más de lo que mi vocabulario y mi cuerpo pueda expresar?
Algún día me inventaré una palabra.
Algún día podré demostrarte.
Algún día podrás ver, completamente, lo que siento.
i see you everywhere.
at times i feel completely free with you and at times i feel completely restrained. but, nevertheless, the balance is fine.
i love it that i feel like we learn from each other, and we grow from each other.
i guess i just never really expected to get so much out of a relationship.
it actually amazes me too, most of the time these things just die out and become routine. but i've never felt a routine with you. it's all so different.
It seems so overly dramatic, doesn't it?
It wasn't. You were here for such short time.
I miss you so much sweety.
I guess I should be glad to have had you here. To have been able to see you, hold you, touch you, kiss you, hug you...
I miss the feel of your hands.
I miss how soft and secure and at home I feel when I hug you.
I miss that utter happiness I feel by simply seeing you nearby.
Te amo tanto mi amor.
I will miss you.
I guess right now I'm too speechless to write. I think I'm too in love to fully express myself. Writing it wouldn't be right, it would never be as much as I feel it.
Now she is gone though.
I'm not down though. I was the first couple of days, but now I feel different. I think I feel safe. I think that's it. Somehow I can sit down and smile alone. I can browse my future and utter a sigh of relief. Things seem good, even those that were to be travesties are now so simple.
My father wrote me, the day of my birthday, that when he was my age he had felt insecure, lost, and alone. Because of those feelings he had committed various mistakes that would then shape his future, his now. He's ok now though, but there arethings he regrets.
I guess reading that e-mail made me smile somehow. Not to smile at his inconvenience, but to smile at knowing I am not lost, I am not insecure, and I am certainly not alone. I am happy.
Thank you for loving me the way you do.
Ya no es un pensar de si ¨quizas estaremos juntos,¨ ya es algo más de ahí. La paz que siento contigo es indescriptible. Te adoro.
but that our lives had already crossed in so many ways.
It is as if our future had been laid down for us.
As if all that has happened is for a reason.
Like if it was our destiny to be together now.
but I do believe in us.
You and me.
That I believe in.
That's all I need.
I'm mostly afraid.
I have a heavy sunken feeling.
My eyes droop as if to sleep.
Sure, I'm tired, but I just don't want to be awake.
I despise this. I really do.
I could offer a million apologies, but I know it would not matter.
I wish you could believe me that there's nothing to hide.
I wish I could let you see it. I wish I could DO something.
My words are empty now. I know that.
My words mean nothing.
A friend of mine once told me that even though he appeared to be enjoying himself he was really empty inside. He told me that what you may see on the outside does not really relate to what is on the inside. I believe him now.
A smile on my face, a lost look in my mind.
To act like everything is in its place.
I miss you. Your laugh, your eyes, your touch, your kiss, your companionship, your love. I miss all of you.
I get together with all those whom are my friends and I laugh, and joke, and talk, and have fun. But the truth is that inside I'm empty. Inside I miss you. There are moments that even the strongest fit of laughter is paused by a reminder that you are not here to laugh with me. The real truth is that I miss you every moment and that this is hard.
I love you and I want the best for you. We took different roads, but I know our destination is the same. And just that thought is enough to make me smile once again.
But still, there are split seconds in which I rest and you come bursting into my thoughts. I smile. Then slowly remember your absence. I take a deep breath and resume whatever it is I was doing.
When I'm driving is when I miss you most. I feel that emptiness besides me. I look over expecting to see your smile, your beautiful eyes, and that hair of yours always getting in the way. But you're not there.
Sometimes I see a bright red car and I always catch myself looking to see who's driving it. Knowing it can't be you, but, somehow, hoping it is.
A car honks in front of my house and I still stand up to look out. I don't run to the window anymore, but I always check.
You have no idea how much I do.
I'll go back to keeping my mind busy now...
I'm aware of the trials and tribulations that may come, but I'm confident of us.
I know you told me these exact words, but I'd like to say them right back at you:
"I love you with all my heart. Thank you for loving me so much y por creer en nosotros even in the hardest times. Te amo"
I will love you
until my dying day
I try and make sense of it all, but it's not that easy.
I try and block it off, but it keeps on coming back.
But I love her. I always will.
I love you. I adore you.
i will be here
i'm afraid of not knowing how to take it
to fall in love with you
i don't want to be afraid already
I saw how I began to change my way of thinking, my emotions, and my desires. How lonely and desolate it was at the beginning. How brave and persistent things were midway. How beautiful life turned until now. In the highs and the lows I always had you in mind.
like a story you hear told from a friend of a friend.
So much of it seems so surreal.
I love this!
It's funny how alike we think sometimes.
I think you said it best when you wrote:
Doesn't matter how far we are from each other...
I love you with all my heart and nothing can ever change that.
No me preguntes en cuál momento lo sentí.
No me preguntes por qué.
Solamente te puedo decir que me he levantado con el amor a toda fuerza.
para llenar o explotar.
Romper o enterrar.
O usar como adorno.
Para lo que quieras.
All roads have bumps, cracks, and detours, but if they get you to your destination then they have lived up to their purpose.
I never began writing this to prove anything. In fact, for those who have read it in its entirety do know that it began with a "broken heart." I never truly expected life to bring me to where I am now. What I have now is not ideal and is not perfect, but I love it. I love how perfect it is with all its imperfections.
Even if there is no dance floor,
there is no music,
and there is no rhythm.
The truth is our love has already tested the sands of time.
The truth is our love holds no boundaries.
The truth is our love is ever growing.
The truth is our love will outlast this all.
Still in our eternal dance with love.
porque el amor tiene su propia voz,
y habla por sí mismo."
¿Para qué decirte "te adoro"?
¿Para qué decirte "te quiero"?
¿Para qué decirte "te amo"?
Cuando mi mente se nublaba por problemas.
Llegaste cuando mi ánimo iba rozando el suelo.
Todo se me fue al piso.
Me frizé. Quedé estático.
¡Cuánto te necesité!
de sorpresa me quitaste el aliento,
de sorpresa llegaste.
I awoke to find a rainy day and an empty space by my side.
Immediately I thought of you.Part of me feeling your absence beside me,
part of me loving thinking of you as soon as I awake.
The cool breeze entered my room and I huddled in a corner of my bed.I miss you.
There is so much left for us to see, to love, to live.I miss those things that have yet to pass.
That have yet to be lived by us.
When shall you return to me?
Doesn't matter. I will be here awaiting.Love Always,
Era tarde en la noche para mi.
Temprano en la madrugada para ella.
Pacífica. Tierna. Hermosa.
Una imagen de dulzura.
El rugido del oceano me envuelve.
El frio me golpea la cara.
Y el viento me aconseja que me volteé.
El oscuro mar me asegura que me amas.
Aquellas olas bailan por nuestro amor.
No sé de dónde viene ese sentimiento.
No sé por qué me da en esos momento.
Siempre miro a mi alrededor. Suelto un suspiro lentamente. Trago en seco. Miro hacia el piso. Pienso "La extraño. ¿Por qué no está aquí conmigo?" Alguien me llama. Miro hacia arriba. Sonrio. Vuelvo a las risas y los cuentos.
Queriendo empezar una vida contigo.
Le doy gracias a Dios por haberme demostrado el camino hacia ti. Todos estos años, todas aquellas cosas que te he hecho mi amor, cada vez que te hice llorar, sonreir, reir, amar, odiar... de alguna forma, eran parte del todo.
Nunca te dejaré.
Mis labios tratando de explicarle a mi corazón,
pero este no entiende.
Odio la lejanía.
Extraño verte, aunque no te veía.
Aprieto los ojos
para calmar el ardor.
Te adoro, pero odio la lejanía.
It comes to me now, several months later, that those of you who have read this in its entirety were much more outspoken in the days of dread. The beginning. In those times when my world lay empty and my heart broken. It is not because you appreciate the human suffering, but, I understand now, it is because it is what you do know.
Those whom are still with me now are trapped in this embellished state of love and affection. Blissfulness. Happiness. Trust. Respect. Loyalty. Hard to believe, but true love does exist.
I believe of it because of her.
Don't believe me if you want.
I yearn to stare at countless exhibits at the Prado in Madrid, Le Louvre in Paris, the Metropolitan in New York, the Smithsonian at Washington, and the Vatican City Museum. To take in all that was and still is beautiful. Lost in silent moments, appreciating life, history, love, us.
Museums ... a reminder that some things that people have loved do remain intact throughout the ages.
I wish to indulge in the beauties of the Cruce de los Lagos from Chile to Argentina. To embrace in the presence of its savage mountains and glistening lakes. To stay at that log cabin castle lost in the middle of the wilderness. Let you see that amazing lake that sits atop the mountain, high above the other lakes.
those eternal wonders I wish to embrace with you.
Please return, let us begin the future now.
de saber que nadie mas nos puede llenar, complementar
de saber que no hay nada mejor que amar.
de que esta distancia no es mas que otra prueba para enseñarle a todos que nuestro amor es envidiable.
As much as I try to lie down.
Shut my eyes.
Concentrate in the sound of my fan,
turning round and round over me.
I've said my prayers.
I've tucked myself in.
I've set things in their place.
I've turned it all off.
I can't sleep.
I want to see you.
I want to speak to you.
I want to accept your constant invitations.
I want to.
I can't sleep because I want to live the future now.
I can't sleep because I love you.
To say that you make me smile so much that sometimes my cheeks hurt?
In your smile.
in the first card i have ever given you
que algo de mi podía expresar cualquier cosa
que mis habilidades eran suficientes para toda situación,
todo sentimiento, todo amor
no perdido porque no estas aquí.
no... perdido porque ya no tengo palabras.
aquellas que sé y aquellas que descubra,
pero nunca serían cercanas a lo que siento por ti.
que te adoro.
que te extraño.
que te amo.
por mas que lo haga,
nunca sería lo suficiente para lo que siento.
que por ti debería tratar más.
es tanto que muchas cosas que he decidido han sido por ti para mí.
tu necesidad y amor para ayudar los otros y hacer el bien.
esa pasión para que todos estén felices es una virtud que pocos entienden.
hay personas que cuando piensan en el pasado prefieren olvidar.
hay personas que contemplan su presente y se sienten perdidos.
pienso en el pasado y prefiero recordar.
contemplo mi presente y contigo nunca estaría perdido.
busqué y busqué,
solamente para encontrarme en ti.
Peanut Butter & Jelly
our hearts are together
or let go...
All the world revolves around those hours.
... it does not matter the time that will separate us ...
...our love is always here...
...our love is always now...
thank you for believing in me
thank you for loving me
"i feel complete"
more than mine.
but i love you, until the end of time"
Maybe it was too long.
A hidden moment.
sad to know it is a goodbye.
a stroke of her hair,
a kiss on the shoulder.
"i love you"
Take in the moment.
"i'm really going to miss you"
"I'll be here..."
Hold them back.
So many things I could depict, so many feelings I could express, but my mind has turned useless in front of my heart. It's ok. I accept that I could never fully say everything I wish to say. I understand that. But,
We were happy, right?
We loved each other, didn't we?
You may do what you want, but I will not forget that you looked me in the eyes and told me you loved me and that in the end there were only smiles from our hearts.
Everyone was there somehow. Everyone I knew and cared for was there. Those whom I once knew as enemies were there to celebrate. A celebration. A choir in the background. I would move a bit on my spot. I knew I couldn't move too much, everyone was still staring. The music began. Slow. Sweet. Simple. Nothing big.
You came towards me. Slowly. Beautiful. Smiling. Your eyes dancing. Your smile from cheek to cheek. Our eyes locked. Our smiles spoke to each other. Like two children we were. You stood before me, more beautiful, more perfect, more than ever. My eyes watered and I lost my breath. Happiness overwhelmed me. My heart stopped and I breathed in. Deeply. Lovely. Lovingly.
Until the end of time.
No need to ask for anything from You.
No need for any help.
and difficulty is overrated.
Realizing truths. Grasping love.
Then hate me until the end of time.
You were hidden from me.
You smiled of nervousness.
You shyed away.
No doubts. No regrets. No turning back.
A delicate, lovely embrace.
My throat dried.
You moved back and said "I love you."
Don't ask me anything.
I was thinking too much.
I think so too Penguin.
"You need to move on."
I'm afraid that I will turn into my old self again without you. I am afraid that all that I have worked on will vanish. I am afraid of how I will feel in the end. I am afraid of your silence. I am afraid of myself. I am afraid that you will actually never love me again.
It is simple because to me, I believe you love me. It is simple because to me, I am madly in love with you. It is complicated because to me, you don't even know what you want. It is complicated because to me, you chose him over me.
but the truth is ...
I'm tired of not knowing. I'm tired of not understanding. I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of losing you. I'm tired of knowing it is my fault. I'm tired of being so angry at myself. I'm tired ...
How they reach up to you thinking you're a giant.
How they forget that age boundary and you're their bestfriends.
you want to forever leave it intact.
Nurture it, freeze it, frame it.
That high-pitched giggle at the smallest thing,
Something about that pure happiness in their eyes.
So many people have yet to live that moment.
To experience that joy of teaching someone that way.
In our different ways,
but we have.
that joins us somehow
unites us - brings us together.
just as my father once said.
Time flew by so quickly, but we were somehow frozen in time. My happiness overwhelmed me. My joy without its limits. Giddy as child. It could not have been more perfect; more fairy tale like.
And I knew, that you meant it.
So here you are retelling our story,
Screaming out your feelings; talking about your broken heart.
It’s true; I love you in a different way.
Time has passed, things have changed, and so have I.
2 years ago I decided to move on; I decided to leave you in the past.
I did it, until I found you again.
I loved you with every bit of my heart.
I tried to be perfect,
Doing everything you liked just to make you notice me.
But it didn’t work.
You were with her,
and I was there,
loving you, needing you…
For now all we have is our friendship.
All we have are dreams, hopes, feelings…
Feelings that need to be hidden, that can’t be told.
Feelings that only you and I know exist.
You are part of my life, I am part of yours.
i did not write this one
I find her in my dreams.
I see her in my thoughts.
At times I can hear her next to me,
whispering to me, ever so soft.
I know I can feel her touch me,
but she's not there.
She lives in my mind, ever so strongly.
My heart held in her hands.
I wish I could forget her, but
when all is finally gone, I see her,
and I love her.
All else is the same.
Miro hacia delante y siento algún tipo de aliento mezclado con temor. Es como si supiera que las cosas van a caer fuertemente y después re-establecerse más fuerte que nunca. Quizás ese es el proceso adecuado para nosotros. Quizás lo que falta es una gran caída, otra más, y así podremos levantarnos y mostrarle a todos que valemos la pena.
Tú en mi lugar y yo en el tuyo.
Ahora te entiendo más que nunca. Dices que pierdes la paciencia, alguna vez eso me paso a mi también. Te encuentras entre dos y no sabes qué hacer. Entiendo.
A veces ando con la esperanza alta y con ese tu-run-tun-tún del corazón cuando sé que te veré. A veces me veo arrastrándome y mi alma llora cada vez que vuelves a mi mente.
Sí. Es verdad. Hace años que solamente nos falta el título.
¿Te acuerdas cuando te dijeron que yo siempre seré tu amor?
¿Nunca te conté cuando me dijeron que tú siempre serías mi vida?
Hay pocas limitaciones.
You sitting there.
Close to me.
Next to me.
You told me your desires.
You told me your goals.
I jotted down all those things that sprung into life.
I was mesmerized by you.
For a while there was no one but you and me.
I know you were comfortable.
I know you feeling comfortable,
made you uncomfortable.
That was just me.
That was just love.
A heavy weight.
A sunken feeling.
Yet my body was burning.
Quickly. Suddenly. Rapidly.
I felt you slipping away
It's been almost five years since that first moment of attraction. Five years. Amazing. For as long as I can remember, since then, you have been there in my life. At times in center stage or in the background, regardless, you have been there. In any case I find it difficult to resume and continue my life if you are not there anymore.
I know what I did. I know how horrible it was. I know. I think back and I cannot believe that was me. I cannot believe that I could do such things. I can't. To think that after all these years such things would play such an important role in what is happening now.
I can still remember exactly how it felt. I can still feel as tears slowly rolled down my cheeks and I still feel that sharp sting in my chest. I knew I had lost you. No matter how much I cried, no matter how much you wanted to help me ... you picked him.
So, I sat there crying. I tried to surpress the tears and the gasps for air. Those gasps right before a long bout of crying. I tried to be the man. I tried to hold it in. I couldn't. I cried. I cried until the tears rolled down my neck and clear into my chest. I cried until my throat went dry from the heavy breating. I cried until my eyes turned bloodshot red. I cried.
You picked him. After all this. After all these years you chose him. After all the signs, all the obvious things, you preferred another. Sometimes I think and ask what I did wrong.
I already miss you and I still haven't lost you. You're going away. I know you are. Soon he will take you away. Soon he will limit you from me.
I have to admit it. I wasn't honest. I didn't tell you the complete truth when I would say I Love You.
All that is left is a silence on the other side of the telephone line, the remaining feeling of a beautiful hug, and memories.
I will always remember Caramel Cream, purple dresses, blueberry cheesecakes, alien antennas, penguins, Nutella, steps, Moulin Rouge, and a yellow rose.
I can picture your face beautifully still.
I noticed the peace that overcame me then.
I felt close to you. I felt loving for you.
I caught myself staring at the phone. Sometimes I thought I heard it ring. I glanced at it frequently. At one point I called myself just to see if the line worked.
I moved slowly today. I tried to find what it is I needed. Some say they hope I find it. I don't even know what it is I am missing.
I replay the events in my head. I go by everything that we did. Everything we said. Everything I felt. You said you loved me. You called because you missed me. You smiled because you were happy. Can't you see? haven't you noticed what all the others already know?
the more things pop into my mind.
Where were all these words born? Where did all those tears end up?
When did all the laughters die out? When did we become so close?
Funny all the things that have gone.
we will always have yellow roses.
I hope for you to one day choose me.